I'm All For Modesty, But I Hate Uniforms (Except for on Cops, Soldiers, And Nurses)

I’ve been pondering the issue of modesty because I sincerely want to honor the Lord in every area of my life and I also want to pass on appropriate and relevant information to my daughters who are the verge of becoming young women. However, I’m not interested in religious dogma and hard core do’s and don’ts. I don’t subscribe to the notion of a standard uniform for modest dress, but I have had to make a few wardrobe changes in recent years as I’ve pondered and prayed about this issue.

The first thing I’ve learned about modesty is that it is a state of the heart. Long dresses and plain faces are perfectly fine, but are no fool proof way to ensure modest behavior, which is just as important, if not more so, than modest dress. It is vitally important that when I get dressed I look in a mirror and be certain that I am not wearing something that I know can incite amorous thoughts in men. That means no plunging necklines, no tight pants, and for me, no shorts above the knee. That’s a personal conviction, not a law. Women who are more on the skinny side can probably wear a pair of shorts just fine. Curvy, hourglass types like myself need to be more careful. Of course these days, my figure is more like that of the Michelin man, but that’s another post for another day!

I know there’s a school of thought that says all pants are bad because they tend to show off a woman’s figure. There is however a solution to that dilemma and I’ve found that it works well for me because I AM NOT giving up my jeans without a direct revelation from the Lord. My solution: tunic tops, long enough to cover the hip and thigh area. And very fashionable, too. Those baby doll dresses, that are, in my opinion, to short to be dresses anyway, work perfectly for this sort of thing. I also love dresses and skirts, and I like them long. But I also like the comfort and versatility of a pair of jeans or Capri’s and disagree with the notion that I compromise my femininity simply by wearing something other than a dress. I have never been mistaken for a man, or even a tomboy, for that matter. Nothing personal, all you tomboys out there!

The point of all this fashion talk is that I tend to get a little uncomfortable when I read Christian magazines or blogs that insist that the only way to be modest is to wear long dresses, shapeless tops and plain faces. That cut, colored hair, makeup, or anything “unnatural” to enhance our appearance is automatically immodest and makes a woman look like a harlot. Deodorant is unnatural but I doubt any who preach this view would leave home without it! I know there are boundaries, and I know that we really must be cautious and sensitive to our Christian brothers. As I noted earlier, in recent years I’ve had to make some changes myself. I also realize that we must always be conscious of the fact that we represent our Lord where ever we go and we mustn’t embrace the standards of the culture around us when we get dressed.

Does that mean, however, that we turn off that part of ourselves that, as women, drives us to want to look pretty? I love red toe nails and strappy sandals. If I’m wearing an ankle length skirt and a long sleeve shirt, and I cross paths with a gentleman who likes red toenail polish, have I sinned? Modesty goes deeper than a prescribed uniform that automatically makes us modest. I think I dress modestly. I make every effort to hide the parts of me that should be hidden and try not to play up my “attributes”. I’m sensitive to the world we live in and I want to represent my Lord well, and be a witness for Him where ever I go. Anyone who’s read here before knows that I take my role as a wife and mother seriously and want to teach my girls to be modest, ladylike, and a graceful daughter of the King. I want them to understand that they have been called to love God and their neighbor and be hospitable. I teach them that when they marry, they’d better to choose well because God requires them to submit to their husbands and raise their own kids. They understand that they have to watch well over the ways of their household and the difference between a wise and a foolish woman. We talk about these things now because a woman doesn’t just wake up one day foolish.

But I also teach them to embrace the uniqueness with which God created them, while staying within the boundaries set forth in His word. The best way for me to do that is model it myself. I’ve given some thought to the modesty discussion and have, after much prayer, made necessary changes to ensure that I am indeed modest, but without throwing out those things that make me me. From my admittedly limited point of view, this is the best way to bring honor to God.